DAY 25: Drugs & Violence: A Day In My City

DAY 25: Drugs & Violence: A Day In My City

I woke up the usual time of about 6 – 7 am. I moved through the normal routine of the morning. I was set and ready so I walked to work. On the way there on one of the main roads I spotted a woman who was yelling in her car at the driver in a car that was in front of hers. I assumed that there may have been an incident that happened further down the road. Before I could look for damages on the car the woman got out of her car, went to the car in front of her and started yelling at her for putting up the windows. One of the back windows was left down so the woman put her fist in then hit the driver in the back of the head. As soon as that happened the girl in Car A got out to possibly fight or to find out what the hell was going on.  

The woman from Car B in her rage took it that the girl got out to fight her. She started throwing punches. The girl from Car A was trying to defend herself. The man that was with the woman from Car B was about to break it up but in mid-way stopped and then said ''already you wanted to have a crack'' step back to then let them continue fighting. At that point I was quite shaken by the event and was about to cross to the centre of the road to help but I am physically small and I would have probably been knocked over in the heat of things. I made a best for all decision to stay away. I did grab my phone to call triple zero (000 Australian emergency number) but my phone was not working properly. I was in quite a bit of shock that all I could do myself is watch hoping that it stopped.  

The mother in Car A came to defend her daughter from the woman who started it all (Car B). It is a good thing that the man stood back so the two women (mother & daughter) could get the very possessed (with rage) woman away from the teenager. She managed to get that woman off her daughter and then the two in Car B got back in to drive off. The two from Car A got out their phones to get the number plate and photos of the two. I memorized the number in case they didn't get it.  

The two from Car A got back in their car to follow Car B while the daughter was on the phone to the police.  The two from Car B were not remorseful at all by what they did. The woman from Car A was just saying ''It wasn't even a fair fight'' -- ''Should have been one on one''. No awareness of the damages she has caused for a teenager and her mother. Admittedly, through all of this I did, given the physical appearance, and behaviour believe that drugs may have been in the picture.  

The individuals in Car B are people that I've seen around my city before. They have the behavioural patterns of drug users. It would explain how the person in Car A was full-on possessed and with no questions asked or a complete unprovoked situation escalated the way it did.  

For the rest of the morning I was a little shaken up by what I witnessed. I felt very concerned for the mother and her daughter. I am able to assess quickly a situation and put the pieces together. People do not have to tell me the intricate details. It is written in behaviour and memory of what I have observed in my own city. I can tell by direction, appearance, and with that it helps me to piece together the intricate and then I can understand a situations really quickly. Comes from watching movies without sound and well common sense – past experiences too. 

So – there was a point where I did consider going to the police station to give a statement. I didn't go because I needed to be at my Dad's place to care for him. My father is my priority so I preferred to do that before anything else and also pick up food for him. There was a point where I had to shake off the shaken up-ness and reflect a little where I bring it back to myself and see where I am responsibility. I place some self-forgiveness statements there to let go of worries, fears, and the possession of slight petrification -- or fear --. That type that kind of locks you in place when witnessing violence unfold. Then within a matter of moments I was free from it to go about my day.  

It did cross my mind here and there throughout the day. I mentioned it to my father who said that our city is getting worse. He isn't wrong there. As I was walking home today I came across another person in an area that I know to be fairly populated by drug users. A man was yelling at a woman who was yelling at her back. Again assessing by their appearance, people whom I've seen before, and the complete positions – Instantly knew drugs were in the picture. Another man appeared from around the corner to break up the fight – I was walking in their direction as I had to cross the road. When I got to the other side I wanted to see what would happen and was about to stand there. I remember a blog that I read about being interested in drama unfolding – I saw the man causing the trouble die down a little but I decided to not waste my time watching another play out of abuse where drugs are related. As I walked through my normal directions I spotted more drug users.  

The were sitting on the steps where no one can see them at the back of a shopping centre near rail way tracks. These people never bother me but I always make sure that I take the right steps and prepare myself for anything. The whole walk back I was realising the extent to the affects that drugs have on people. It took me back to the memory of today.  

I wondered what has happened to the mother and daughter. I really wanted them to receive justice for what had happened. I was putting myself in their shoes and looking at all the possibilities of what would go down for them in court. As I was nearing my gym, which is close to the police station, I recognise the woman from Car A. I Identified her by the tattoo of a snake on the back of her leg and her daughter was next to her. They had some forms in their hands.  

The were turning a corner so I made the decision to go see if they were ok. It was hours since the incident had happened. They told me that they had spent the whole day in the hospital and that they have never experienced anything like this. I explained to her that I saw everything. She told me that the police know the two that had assaulted her daughter and her but they can't do anything without a statement. I said that I would be happy to give a statement and she thanked me for that. It was best that I didn't ask for their names or get the number.  

There were some resistances with giving a statement. I have been to court once in my life. I DID NOT ENJOY going through the legal systems and/or attending court. Although my offense was not serious – I did struggle with the whole system and the way police were so unhelpful. I told myself 'never again'. -- Of course I was only fined for my offense (not voting – cutting my license off and suspending it) -- But I put myself in this woman's shoes and how serious this event was for her daughter that I would be gladly happen to give a witness statement. The impacts would be greatly. She was even publicly humiliated as her shirt was ripped up exposing her breasts. So, it was fairly traumatic. So moving past resistances of entering the courts again (this time not for something I've done) and assisting/supporting individuals who may want a form of justice for what happened. I mean – What if it happens to someone else? I will be responsible for not having done anything about that. All about putting yourself in someone else's shoes. As for drugs --- more affordable or free rehabilitation could be an option and/or a basic living income guaranteed  or both. My city lacks both. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in a court room again dealing with lawyers, judges, and the whole vibe of a court house.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I see people physically fighting go into a form of petrification where it locks me into place and cannot really move fast enough as I would if not being held down by any reactions.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and stress about the two individuals who were attacked by possessed by rage.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress about going through a court room to deal with judges and lawyers if it got to that point.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving a statement where I have to deal with police again.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid police due to past experiences where they have been completely ignorant and unhelpful. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving a witness statement in case any of the individuals in Car B set their friends onto me.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my safety if I give a witness statement.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that if the mother and daughter choose to go through with getting a form of justice by pressing charges then if it help them it is best to give a witness statement so they can find some closure to what happened.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about my city becoming full with drug users 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed by the increase of drug users as they raise the cigarette prices up. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated about the world heading down a path that isn't best for all due to people not wanting to change enough so that we can all have a dignified life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed about the focus of my city being that of making money from consumerism instead of building youth centres, rehabilitation services, and opening more organisations that offer support 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for the mother and daughter that had to experience this because of a city that does not focus on the human being but on profit and keeping things the same way.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remove responsibility from the individuals that choose to use the drugs and behaviour in ways that affect all around them when it is their choice to use and abuse as even if supports were there it is up to the individual to change and want to stop/give up their addiction. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disappointed because I could not record for evidence what those individuals did.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed that the police didn't even do anything despite not having a witness statement.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed and frustrated about dealing with police, judges and lawyers.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have several backchat about the police, judges and lawyers that are of a negative type and/or participate in the positive type as neither needs to be present.  

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to let a love/hate relationship exist with police, judges and lawyers where they do right/wrong depending on where I sit within it all.  

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to fear police, judges and lawyers. 

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to feel so used to violence happening that I see as a form of entertainment instead of a serious situation that could lead to deadly consequences  

I forgive myself that I Haven't accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that being the solution is better than being the problem even if it is only a band-aid solution due to the current operation of the system.  

When and as I see myself – going into petrification when witnessing something shocking – I stop and I breathe – I realize that in every situation there is a best for all action that can be taken and if energy is not locking one down then those actions can be taken to reduce potential harm being done either to myself or others.