DAY 18: Emotional Reactions to Movie Scenes
I wasn't feeling too happy this evening so I decided to watch a movie to calm myself down. The movie that I watched was called Blue Story. It is about the gang violence that goes on in the UK and how bad it is getting. The movie was like the several documentaries I have watched on this topic. Where groups of people in one postcode to the next create gangs, groups, then smaller individual crews and then start beefing with other gangs from different postcodes and this is where the violence begins. Gang members attack gang members and even innocent people. I watched a documentary where a man that was involved in gangs for most of his life said that if someone got off a bus and it was in an area where he does not live in then he could be knifed. The movie was like watching a documentary. It demonstrated all the consequences that being involved in gangs can have one peoples lives. It effects parents, the individuals themselves, their future, their friends lives, and they can end up going to prison.
There was parts where I did have sadness come up that I felt was overwhelming me. It could have been the not so enjoyable afternoon that I had that contributed but mainly reaction to the movie. I do not normally watch movies and rare occasions do I watch them with sound. It was a pure way to clear my mind. Instead it just revealed more of me that I have to change. lol. So onto forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be upset when I see a guy who has been laughed at by his friends for being his honest self with a girl who he really likes and enjoys being around.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself get emotional when I see someone who has been humiliated by his friends be happy to still carry on being himself regardless of what they say..
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed about the gang violence and knife crime happening in the UK.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel helpless to do anything about gang violence and knife crime in the UK.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel very sorry for the young boys that are brought up in these environments that are full of gangs and having to rep their postcode
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand there are a variety of ways that we can end the violence and abuse that goes on in the UK just like in other countries.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed about some scenes revealing and always showcasing woman to be pure sex objects and nothing else in the eyes of boys/males.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed and frustrated with immature that comes from males that do depict what I have seen of males in real life.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed by the male ego running a muck in the UK.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed about all the consequences that people create to eventually lead to an unhappy life or world not just for themselves but for others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed that I cried because of the overwhelming emotions in reaction to scenes in the movie.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have not been breathing in the first place as I watched the movie, to the effectiveness that i could reach that would have prevented the crying of a scene where the emotions would have gone away.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have resembled memories to scenes when I was watching them which overwhelmed me even more.
I commit myself to use the four count breath where I watch movies
