DAY 23: Write No Matter How You Feel

DAY 15: Write No Matter How You Feel

A tool for walking process is to write. I have been avoided and putting off writing every single day. I set times in the morning and night for writings but when those times come I'll postpone it.  
The want to postpone it depends on how I feel. If I feel depressed or no motivation to really do it I will not do it.  If there is too much on my mind that is causing depression, sadness, and anxiety I will avoid/put off writing.  I won't even want to write about the depression, sadness and anxiety itself so there would be a pattern of not feeling like writing. Even if one does not feel like writings I could push through that and write. Whether that be about how I feel in that moment or another point – Getting into the habit of writing every single day no matter how I feel would mean that I'll never miss a day.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let all the emotion that I experience in moments of my life decide whether I write or not. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone writing because of how I feel.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that everyday is a chance for me to write out and remove then apply new changes for my life.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  suppress how I feel where it builds up and makes it harder for me to do what does support me throughout the day.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid writing out what I am experiencing so I do not have to face it and remain the same.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about getting it all wrong in my writing.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that the emotions will just pass and I won't have to deal with them.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid seeing what I am dealing with in my life as the pain that I do go through on regular basis 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste valuable time where I could be writing every single day. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain that I will go through when I start changing and living out a structure that does support me to be rather effective in my process of change.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feear the emotions and feelings that come up.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is lurking inside of me.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I will have to change about me as the intense life that I have experienced that has caused a lot of emotions to erupt inside of m.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel DEEP anger about the very people who brought all the pain into my life on a willing and aware basis.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pissed off that some people deliberately want to cause pain for other people and then it is those people that have to change and take responsibility of all that pain despite those people, who came into my life, deliberately sabotaging and disadvantaging me that made it tremendously difficult to be mentally stable and then take care my body to the effectiveness I could have if there was no damage done to my mind by people who were supposed to be assisting and supporting me.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the emotions that come up on a regular basis to life events/situations and the effects I see in my mind that do make it rather difficult to be comfortable, social, and myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear writing every single day on points regardless of how I feel.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that without all the tools being used effectively than I will not see effective results.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my emotions as an excuse to postpone or not write at all.  

When and as I see myself wanting to postpone my writing for the day - I stop and I breathe - I realise that to be effective with all the tools and to help change my life I will have to use the tools every single day and be disciplined with them.  

I commit myself to move past emotions and write on the times that I have decided to write.  

I commit myself to write about what I am experiencing