I came across Desteni when I was 16 – 17 years old. It was in a stage of my life where I was searching/looking for the meaning of life. There were a bunch of circumstantial factors that lead me to start ask this question. I started to apply the desteni tools and my life did begin to change. My life started to change for the better but I was faced with challenging/difficult times. I won't go into detail about the difficulties I've had right now – but it took a great chunk of my time to get out of those challenging situations. What I did not get to do with all that time is spend it on my Desteni studies. I am now in a very stable position in my life to spend some of my time to catching up . I have scheduled in 4 – 5 hours a night to write, listen to eqafe interviews, read blogs and do course assignments. There are zero excuses that I can use to not study. However, I still feel a slight resistence to listening to eqafe intervews, reading blogs and writing. It will come time to do my studies but then a resistance and a want to postpone will come up. The thoughts say ''I'll do it tomorrow night'', I'll do it tomorrow morning'', "I'm tired right now.. I've had a long day'' or once I've written I'll not want to do anything else Desteni related. I pushed past all that this evening and went straight to my laptop to study. I listened to two interviews then downloaded once to play on my iphone when I am walking and now I am writing this blog post. What I have taken from the interviews this evening is very valuable. I have realised what I need to change in my life just within two interviews alone. This was what I needed to help/aid me in my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resisted the Desteni knowledge/information now that I am able to study it effectively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse ''I'm too tired'', ''I've had a long day'', ''I want to get to bed'' so that I do not study the Desteni knowledge/information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to left my thoughts prevent me from assisting and supporting myself with the Desteni knowledge/information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel tired when the time comes to study the Desteni knowledge/information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that I have no excuse not to study the Desteni knowledge/information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist sitting in front of the computer listening to the sound of the eqafe interviews.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone and resist listening to the eqafe interview
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have postpone and resisted assisting and supporting myself by listening to the eqafe interviews.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to study the Desteni knowledge/information because I am behind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that I can catch up with my Desteni studies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever considered giving up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist reading blog posts.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist using the tools of Desteni to crack me open to find out who I am so I can make changes to me and so my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot get to know me or handle walking out of my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I am going to undercover about my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR MEEE
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR CHANGING.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR CHANGING ME
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR becoming/being effective with my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting better at process
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear using the tools effectively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing me.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that by resisting the desteni tools and becoming effective with them I am really resisting getting to know me, and changing my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resisted changing my life.
To be continued....
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